It’s not impossible to wait until marriage. It’s hard, but not impossible.
I was sixteen and naive when I made the decision to wait. I made a list of qualities I wanted in my future husband and decided I wouldn’t settle until I had everything on that list checked off. Of course I didn’t know everything I needed to know or should have known, and I have made mistakes, but that’s how we gain wisdom and growth. Here I am, almost eight years later. I have a different list now and new information, but the decision hasn’t changed. I am still waiting, and I’ve grown so much, but this growth stemmed from one first step, even in the naivety, when I was sixteen: the decision.
So many factors make up the decision. Why wait? What does God say about waiting? How is it even possible to wait when I live in a world that does not wait? We’ll explore many of these questions and topics in later posts, but I want to give you a basis for making the decision.
Way back in the garden, God made Adam. He said it wasn’t good for man to be alone, so He gave him a woman. Then He said man would leave his family, she’d leave hers, they become one (marriage) and have babies. That’s God’s plan for marriage and sex. Throughout the Bible we read stories of actions outside of that plan. We see the consequences of those actions. Paul writes a whole lot about sexual immorality; including to flee. Flee anything outside of God’s plan for sex.
Obviously God has a pretty clear plan for sex, but one might make the argument, “God has a lot of plans for a lot of things, and we disobey. What makes sex different?” A whole lot, because sex is powerful, not just physically, but emotionally and even spiritually.
Of course I don’t know that from experience, but I don’t have to have the experience to know its power. Think about His creation of it; two people become one. It is a very intimate action. What springs from it? Life. Look at David and Bathsheba’s experience (2 Samuel 11: David had an affair with a soldier’s wife. She ended up pregnant, and after trying, but failing, to cover it up, David had him killed in war. David married her, but the baby died. They end up having another baby, Solomon, but future generations would reap the consequences from that one incident). It was a mess and it even affected future generations!
Sex is beautiful. It is intimate and as much as the world wants to tell you that it’s fun and you can do it with no strings attached, it’s simply not true. It is physical, emotional, and spiritual. And you, my friend, are worth so much more than no strings attached sex; you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139:14).
So you want to wait? Make the decision.
Decide that your future spouse is worth the gift of sex.
Decide that you are worth waiting for.
Decide that you will follow God’s plan for sex and marriage.
Decide that you will be strong enough to set boundaries and keep them.
Decide that you will say no, no matter how perfect you think she/he is.
Decide that you will wait.
A very important step in the journey of waiting is to make the decision. I mean to intentionally make the decision. It could be a nice thought/idea to want to wait, but you have to make the decision that you will wait. Thoughts and ideas don’t have accountability, but decisions do. Make the promise to God and yourself, and tell someone- a trusted friend, your parents, or a mentor- because that accountability is so important.
I hope this post encouraged you today, and you will be in my prayers. Until next week,
Love, Sarah Lynn
Father God, I thank you for Your strength and grace. I thank You for the people reading these words. I pray these words speak to their hearts and give them hope and courage while they wait for their future spouse. And for those who are struggling, strengthen them and keep them in Your hands. Remind them of Your words that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. Holy Spirit, empower us and be our helper, because we cannot do this alone. Help us stand on Your promises when the world tries to tell us different. In the name of Jesus I pray, amen.
Ladies, here’s one for you:
To the Girl Who is Choosing to Wait