I can write only about waiting because that is what I know. I am the girl, now woman, who hasn’t and will not until she is married. So if you want to wait, you’ve come to the right place.
I made the decision to wait when I was sixteen, but I was naive. I imagined I’d have a huge “Off Limits” sign following me, and that men should know to leave me alone, but that is not how it worked.
I am now a young adult living in a sex-crazed culture of promiscuity. You’re living in it too. I’ve been faithful to my decision, but every day I strive for modesty and purity, and it is a struggle. It’s a daily and moment by moment, crucify the flesh, struggle. I thought making the decision would mean that I would just have to wait until Mr. Right came along. I mean, that is what I’m doing, but no one said there’d be handsome Mr. Wrong’s in my way all the time.
No one tells you it’s going to be this hard. No one tells you that men will hit on you or give you the look, and that you’ll have to quickly turn away because your face is too hot. Or that you’re going to experience feelings you’ve never experienced before. All they told me is that I deserve a man of God who will treat me like a woman of God, and to not settle until I find that. But as Christian women that’s all we’re told. Don’t settle.
That didn’t prepare me for reality because no one told me how to say “no” to what I don’t deserve. Then I realized that sometimes only telling the person “no” isn’t enough. You also have to tell yourself, and how do you do that? You can tell others no all you want, but it takes two to tango. So, here are a few things I learned:
- Set boundaries and stay very far away from the line. Boundaries are something I had to set on my own, and you’ll have to too. No one can do that for you.
- Take caution with your eyes. Remember Joseph’s master’s wife? She cast longing eyes on Joseph. And David and Bathsheba? That started with just a look!
- Pray about it. Your journey is your journey, so it’s going to look different from mine. Choosing to wait is something that is very special and should be completely guided and covered by what God has to say about it.
One more thing they don’t tell you is how much you’ll learn and grow while waiting. One of the most beautiful things about waiting is becoming intimate with Jesus. I know my relationship with Him wouldn’t be where it is if I hadn’t made this decision. I don’t have the distraction of another man and I earnestly look to Jesus for joy and satisfaction. I was created first for Him.
Waiting is so worth it. I don’t mean that the day I’m married it’ll finally be worth it. It’s worth it right now. God’s plan for sex is beautiful and sanctified, and He will honor your obedience. Yes, even right now during your wait.
So Beautiful Girl, it’s going to be hard. You’re going to have to fight for this one, but I promise you it is so worth it.
Dear God, I thank You for Your perfect and beautiful design for man and woman. There are still young ladies who desire to follow Your purpose for sex and marriage. Honor their decision and help them through the journey of waiting. Strengthen and cover them with Your grace. May Your love be louder than the lies of the world when they face criticism. May they stand on the truth of Your promises. Protect them and guide them, and may they know that You have already covered every step they will ever take. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.